December 2012

#184 Week of December 2, 2012

Schindler Sez

If you’re following the crowd…you’re on the wrong road!

Thou

Good news! The esteemed New England Journal of Medicine published an article by Dr. Franz Messerli, of St. Luke’s Roosevelt Hospital, that there is evidence the flavonoids in chocolate, red wine and green tea, helps to slow down and possibly even reverse age-related mental deterioration. Screw the green tea; hand me a jug of wine and one of those huge Hershey bars.

A line from Omar Khayyam’s famous poem, “The Rubaiyat,”  goes:

“A jug of wine, a loaf of bead, and thou.”

But Schindler Sez:

“A jug of wine, a Hershey bar and wow!”

Of course, after a few jugs of wine…it could be thou!

The “DoNothings”

The newspaper recently announced that Congress just returned from a seven-week vacation. Heck, I didn’t know they had a job. Wouldn’t we all like to get paid for doing nothing and call it a job?

The Losers

The real losers in the recent election fiasco were…the American people.

#185 Week of December 9, 2012

Schindler Sez

After several beers, or margaritas, a lot of folks “think” they can do about anything. However, if the truth were known…most of them couldn’t do jack crap.

10-10

            When my son Jimmie was around sixteen, we were discussing his mother’s birthday, which is 10-10-52, when he said, “Mom, most guys would like to be married to a ten; dad’s sure is a lucky guy.”

            “Why?” Mom wanted to know.

            “Because he’s married to a ten-ten!”

As you clever readers have probably surmised…she has never let me forget it!

To handle yourself, use your head. To handle others, use your heart.

~Eleanor Roosevelt~

The Heat Beaters

Recently, I read a headline in an area newspaper, which read, “Grizzles beat Heat.” Heck, I thought it was about some bears cooling off in a river somewhere. But no, it was about the Memphis Grizzlies beating the H out of the Miami Heat. Wouldn’t we all like to beat the heat; especially if we got paid millions for doing it?

#186 Week of December 16, 2012

Schindler Sez

Everybody loves their babies…even the ugly ones.

Just a Thought

Arnold Schwarzenegger, the famous muscular movie star and ex-governor of California, land of fruits and nuts, could have saved himself a lot of trouble, if he would have only thought with his big head.

The Christmas Kiss

Santa gained some weight this year,

His pants he could not wear.

My dear said he, Let them out for me,

Must I go in my underwear?

I’m much too old and it’s bitter cold

And the folks will surely stare,

At my boxers of black, with mistletoe on back,

And you don’t want them kissing me there.

~Jim Schindler~

#187 Week of December 23, 2012

Schindler Sez

Do people who like to horse around…lack horse sense?

Hickory Dickory Dock,

The mouse ran up the clock.

The pendulum swung

And he jumped on,

Hickory Dickory Dock

Hickory Dickory Dock

The mouse swung on the clock.

The clock struck two,

And off he flew,

Hickory Dickory Dock.

Hickory Dickory Dock

The mouse came to in the clock.

When the clock struck three,

He started to flee…squeaking,

 “No more will you Hickory Dick me!

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year

To all you lovers of fine literature.

#188 Week of Dec 30, 2012

Schindler Sez

New Year’s resolution advice: If you want to improve your circumstance…first improve yourself.

A Cold One

At a house party, one of the young men asked seventy-eight- year-old Melvin, if he wanted to play beer pong. “No,” he answered, “Since I’ve lost the ping in my pong, even after a few beers, my pong is still pingless.

January Two

Most New Year’s resolutions,

 Folks keep a couple of days.

Some keep them for a week or two,

Then back to their old ways.

I gave up booze, and beer,

 And wild women too.

But I kept my resolutions,

Till we met on January two.