October 2012

#176 Week of October 7, 2012

Schindler Sez

Rumor has it that Tiger’s ex-wife was pretty good with a nine iron.

Take Take

The problems we face today are because the people who work for a living are just about outnumbered by people who vote for a living. This can easily be resolved; if you pay no income taxes, you are not eligible to vote. Why should people who take, take and contribute nothing to society have a voice in, or dictate how that society should be governed? Their only concern is what benefits they can get at the taxpayers’ expense and then complain it’s not enough.

Wrinkles: What other people have that are similar to my character lines.

~The net~

The Article of Confuseration

“I couldn’t understand one of the articles in your column,” a friend said.

“You’re kidding?”

“No, I’m serious.”

“Gee, I didn’t think I was smart enough to confuse anyone. You made my day.”

# 177 Week of October 14, 2012

Schindler Sez

There is an olde saying that goes, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.” I beg to differ. You can teach an old dog new tricks, it just takes a lot more time and patience.

Apparently, I’m supposed to be more outraged by what Mitt Romney does with his money than what Barack Obama does with mine. I don’t think so! How about you?

The Net…with a little help from the Sez

On dePlane

Mike Marra made an early dinner so he could take his eighty-seven-year-old dad to the airport in time to catch his flight. When dinner was ready, Mike said, “Okay dad, are you ready for your last supper?”

“No,” dad replied, “I can get that on the plane.”

Mame

There once was a lady named Mame,

How she treated her husband was a shame.

He was nice as can be, but how he ended with she,

Is a riddle no one can explain.

#178 Week of October 21, 2012

Schindler Sez

Why do politicians and lawyers sleep with one eye open?

“The Purple Cow”

I never saw a purple cow,

I never hope to see one.

But I can tell you anyhow,

 I’d rather see than be one.

Gelett Burgess

The poem became so famous that whenever someone saw Burgess they’d repeat it to him. This bugged him so much his face would pratically turn purple.  Consequently, he wrote the following poem in response. It goes as follows:

“Confession and a Portrait too,

Upon a Background that I Rue

Ah yes I wrote the “Purple Cow,”

I’m sorry that I wrote it.

But I can tell you anyhow,

I’ll kill you if you quote it.

#179 Week of October 28, 2012

Schindler Sez

It is better to have it and not need it…than it is to need it and not have it.

It’s in the good Book

Politically speaking, have you ever wondered why Conservatives are called the “Right,” and Liberals the “Left?” A verse from the Bible (Ecclesiastes 10:2), tells why. “The heart of the wise inclines to the right, but the heart of the fool to the left.”

Thus sayeth the Lord.

This is no Bull

After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he began roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him dead.

Moral: When you’re full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

~Will Rogers

The Halloween Mouse

On Halloween Eve some kids came to my house,

Dressed as goblins and witches and one like a mouse.

Like polite little monsters, they said, “Trick or treat please.”

But the one little mouse squeaked, “May I please have some cheese?”