Bad Girls
Bad girls get the guys...but only if they're good!

The Common Sense Rule
The Congressional Budget Office estimates that President Obama's budget will generate an average deficit of about a $1 trillion a year, which most economists agree is unsustainable. Obviously, even with his Harvard education, Obama has never learned the common sense rule of fiscal responsibility, which is, if you spend more than you take in...you're going to go broke.
Don't you think our country would be a lot better off if all politicians lived by this rule?

Legal
Sixty-three-year old Terry was starting to show his age. He had prostrate cancer, the beginning of Parkinson's disease, and several other maladies "The problem with getting older," he told my wife, Fry, "is that I have a whole counter full of drugs...and they're all legal!

The Quiet Woman
Charlie's mother died and, true to her wishes, he had her cremated. It was a beautiful Indiana summer day when he got a call from the mortuary that his mother's ashes were ready to be picked up. So he stopped, claimed the urn with her remains and headed to the lake to spend the day.
About halfway there, Charlie looked over at his mother sitting on the front seat and said, "Mom, this is the first time you ever rode to the lake with me without bitchin' about my driving."

Schindler Sez
Bad girls get the guys...but only if their good!

The Common Sense Rule

The Congressional Budget Office estimates that Obama's budget will generate an average deficit of about a trillion a year, which most economists agree is unsustainable. Obviously, even with his Harvard education, Obama has never learned the common sense rule of fiscal resonsibility, which is, if you spend more than you take in...you're going to go broke! Don't you think our country would be a lot better off if all politicians lived by this common sense rule?

Schindler Sez

A wise man keeps his wife happy!

There Legal

Sixty-three-year old Terry was starting to show his age. He had prostate cancer, the beginning of Parkinson's disease, and several other maladies. "The problem with getting older," he told my wife, Fry, "is that I have a whole counter full of drugs...and they're all legal!"

The Quiet Woman

Charlie's mother died, and true to her wishes, he had her cremated. It was a beautiful Indiana summer day when he got a call from the mortuary that his mother's ashes were ready to be picked up. So he stopped, claimed the urn with her remains and headed to the lake to spend the day.
About halfway there, Charlie looked over at his mother sitting on the front seat and said, "mom, this is the first time that you ever rode to the lake with me without bitchin' about my driving."

The Blessed

Blessed are they who have nothing to say and are wise enough not to say it!

In Plain English

In the United States, a nation made up of people from every country, culture, and religion in the world, the English language is the common thread that holds us together.

Help Needed

A friend once asked me, "Why do you go to church every Sunday?"
"Well, I answered, "it's a little bit like working out. When it's over, I always feel better. Besides, I honestly believe that it helps me to be a better person and, heaven knows, I need all the help I can get!"

de Seat

In the 1960s, Ronald Reagan, wh was then a movie star and spokesman for the General Electric Company, made a cameo appearance at the Decatur, Indiana, GE, plant. During that visit a brief respite was planned at the home of Roger Schuster, one of the plant's executives.
The neighborhood ladies, anticipating Reagan's arrival, asked Roger'
s wife, Irene, what she did to spiff her house up for his visit. "The only thing I did," she replied, 'was to buy a new toilet seat."
Several years later, when the Schuster's moved to another city, Irene removed the seat (which Ronnie used), and took it with her. I guess she just didn't want to part with the memory of de seat! And that's no crap!

The Saint Peter Principle

My years as an usher at St. Peter's Catholic Church have taught me that if you're late and the church seems packed there's always room up front!

Never Again

The best thing about a suicide bomber is...he'll never have the guts to do it again!

Judge Bobo

Judge Bobo, a deeply religious man who was well versed in the Bible, was aware that in the Old Testament, Joshua made the sun stand still. Back during Prohibition, the good judge presided over a court in Decatur, Indiana, and one day a black man by the name of Joshua, was hauled before for bootlegging.
"Joshua, " the good natured judge asked, "Are you the one who made the sun stand?"
"No sir, Mr. Judge, ah's duh one dat made da moonshine!"