December 10, 2011

Schindler Sez

Change is good. It forces us to adapt and helps to eliminate boredom.

Frosty

If Frosty the Snowman doesn't melt your heart, it must be awfully cold.

The Not-to-Obvious Obvious

I recently read an article in the newspaper where a witness saw a man shoot himself in a parking lot and he was later pronounced dead at a local hospital. It went on to say that the coroner's office was to determine the cause of death. Gee, I wonder how long it'll take them to figure out the obvious. Maybe I should keep my nose out of it, or I'll be accused of shooting off my mouth. Then, there'll probably be another ongoing investigation.

The Crack

Today, in the pew in front of me, there was a big heavy guy wearing jeans and a bomber jacket.
When he bent over to pick something up in the pew in front of him, let me tell you, it wasn't a pretty sight. Could there be, I wonder, some leaky pipes in heaven? If so, I'm sure this guy could do a crackup job. No ifs ands or butts.

December 3, 2011

Schindler Sez

Don't swim against the tide or pee into the wind. In the first case, you won't get anywhere and in the second, you'll still be all wet.

The Wicked Bible

In 1631, the so called "Wicked Bible," was printed. A competitor bribed one of the printer's, Robert Barker's workers, to leave the word "not" out of the Seventh Commandment. Thus it read, "Thou shalt commit adultery." King James I, ordered all copies seized and burned. Unfortunately, a few copies survived and I believe to this very day that that adulterous version still has many followers. But, it's "not" for me to say.

The Tzars (Czars)

Did you know that throughout the entire history of Russia, there were only 24 Tsars? Obama has 32. The Russians are probably wondering why in heaven's name does he need all those Czars. They caused us all kinds of misery and we only had one at a time.

Poor Devils

The average NBA player makes somewhere around $5 million a year. If all you made was $5 million, wouldn't you also want to strike? Maybe we ought to organize.