June 2012

#158 Week of June 3, 2012

Schindler Sez

A first class education teaches not what to think, but how to think.

Cougars

Cougars are really badgers in disguise. Once they’re in charge, they badger the heck out of their prey.

~Bruce Buck

Buffeted

When someone says, “Buffet,” I think of Warren. Some of you might think of an all you can eat buffet. Others might think of a buffet as a blow, such as striking something or someone with a fist. So putting this all together one might say, “Who buffeted Buffet at the buffet?”

After reading the above, my wife asked, “How do you think of all that stupid stuff?

“I don’t know, I answered, “maybe when I was younger, I got buffeted too hard in the head.

Honk Honk

Rosanne turned left onto a roundabout. “That car just honked at me,” she said to her daughter.

“Mom, get off quick,” her daughter yelled. You’re going the wrong way and they’re probably honked off.”

#159 June 10, 2012

Schindler Sez

The more we know, the more we know how much we don’t know.

The Kick

I’m asking you all,

Before Father’s Day passes,

To please call your dad,

Or I’ll kick all your…donkeys.

Trumped

            Even the Donald, who has a very high opinion of his opinion, can be trumped.

Politics as Usual

“The budget should be balanced, the Treasury should be refilled, public debt should be reduced, the arrogance of officialdom should be tempered and controlled, and the assistance to foreign lands should be curtailed, lest Rome become bankrupt. People must again learn to work, instead of living on public assistance.”

                                                                                                            Cicero – 55 BC

The above quote goes to show that in over 2000 years, the politicians still haven’t learned a darn thing. Unfortunately, those who fail to learn from past mistakes will continue to make them in the future. If only the politicians would get their heads out of their past, (I couldn’t say what I was thinking), then maybe, just maybe, things would get better.

#160 June 17, 2012

            Schindler Sez

Life has an expiration date. Enjoy it before you expire.

The Bad & the Good

If only the good die young, I think I’ll be bad; but not to worry. Even when I’m bad…I’m good.

Just because you have a degree doesn’t necessarily mean you have an education.

Anonymous

The Funguy

“Are you diabetic?” the nursed asked eighty year old Jim Brazill, who is quite a jokester.

“No I’m Catholic.”

“I didn’t ask you that.” The nurse, a little surprised by the answer said, “I asked you if you were diabetic.”

“I’ve lived in Fort Wayne for over fifty years,” Jim went on, “and I didn’t know they had a church.”

Rolling her eyes, she looked at the doctor and said, “What do you want me to do?

“Ask him another question, “the doctor answered, grinning from ear to ear. “This is fun.”

Dollars go further when accompanied by sense.

Yiddish proverb

#161 June 24, 2012

Schindler Sez

Why did I waste my time taking logic in college when it’s so seldom used?

Flower Power

I think that you shall never wow her,

With a gift as beautiful as a flower.

A flower with its fragrance fair,

That permeates her lovely hair.

With a color to match her sensual eyes,

That sparkle with your nice surprise.

So men remember these words of wit,

You must give a lot…before you get!

A man’s health can be judged by what he takes two at a time, pills or stairs.

Joan Welsh

It’s George W’s Fault

            Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we never had to admit we made a mistake or screwed up? I have figured out a way we could all do that. I’ve been watching a certain politician and no matter happens, he blames it on Bush! But what’s really strange is at least half of the populace believes him. So blame your problems on George W. and you’ll be surprised how many village people will believe you.