Cyber and the Barbers

As my barber, Skip, was clipping me, he began to discuss Cyber Monday.
“Why do they call it Cyber Monday?” I asked.
“It’s the day you can find all kinds of good deals on the internet.”
“Okay, but what does the word cyber mean?”
“I don’t know,” he replied.
“They have cyber space, cyber cafes, cyber speak, cybersex and who knows what else. But what does cyber mean?” I again asked. We then asked Mike, his partner, and he didn’t know. That’s strange; I thought to myself. Most barbers think they’re experts on things they know nothing about! And to hear, not one, but two say, “I don’t know,” puts them on the cutting edge of truth.
Oh, by-the-way, I looked it up. Cyber is anything involving computers or computer networks, (such as the internet). That’s according to Dan “the Man,” Webster.

No Pew

I went to a service at a new church today, and it didn’t have the traditional style benches. Instead, they had padded chairs. Could it be that the parishioners don’t want to sit in their pew?

Schindler Sez

It’s not the size of one’s head that counts…it’s what’s in it.

No Rest

Usually, when I stop at a rest area…I’m not tired.

The Bread Man

 It always amazes me when I hear folks raving about how much money they saved by buying this or that on sale. Excuse me, but when people spend their hard-earned money, how in the world do they figure they saved it? Does it really matter if they bought the items on sale or paid full price? Isn’t the result the same? Meaning, now they have less money than they had to begin with. 

If I had a hundred dollars and saved some more money, wouldn’t I now have more than a hundred? Conversely, if I spend some of that money, no matter how good the deal, wouldn’t I now have less? Logic would tell any rational person that spending money is not exactly the same as saving it. Hence, a sale is just a means to sell the gullible a bill of goods while lightening their purses and convincing them that they actually saved money. If only I could get my wife to understand this, I’d save so much dough; they’d call me the bread man!

Schindler Sez

If I learned from all my mistakes…I’d be pretty damn smart!

Lent

To Mass on Sunday he went.
To pray for his sins and repent.
When he caught her eye,
As she slowly walked by,
He didn’t repent until Lent,

Mother’s Day

On May the 8th,
You better see her,
If it weren’t for ma,
You wouldn’t be here!

Twits?

Are those who tweet on twitter…twits?

Gina

After talking to Gina, our waitress at the Athenian restaurant, who has sort of an olive-colored skin, I asked, “Gina are you Italian?”
“No, I’m three-quarters Indian.”
“Indian? Like American Indian?”
“Yeah.”
“Do they still wear loin cloths?” I jokingly asked.
“Sure, they have nothing to hide.”