Schindler's Rules of Law

Schindler's first rule of law; avoid lawyers!

Schindler's second rule of law; avoid lawyers!

Schindler's third rule of law; keep avoiding those bastards!

Schindler Sez

Is that rancid smell in Iowa coming from the hogs, or is it coming from the politicians?

She Still Won't

The man, next in line at Walgreen's, watched as the cashier rang up a customer. When the automatic change dispenser didn't work, the cashier smacked it and, lo and behold, the correct change came rolling out. "I just love doing that," she said with a mischievous grin.
"So do I," the male chauvinist customer replied, "but my wife still won't work!

Those Fools and Our Money

It's hard for me to understand why the United states of America, is still giving billions in aid to Third World and other countries that is too often misappropriated (a nice word for stolen), or squandered, while we go deeper and deeper into debt. Only a fool gives his money away when he can't even pay his own bills.
Would somebody please explain this to the President, our elected officials and the bureaucrats? Finally, don't you think that money would better utilized if it was spent on fixing our economy and taking care of our own?

The Bobcat and the Hare

A sick bobcat lay in the grass for several days before he began to fee better. Still too weak to hunt for something to eat, he finally spotted a rabbit.
"Mr. Hare," called the bobcat, "I'm too weak to get up . Would you mind helping me so I can go get something to drink?
"Oh, no," answered Mr. Hare. "You'll eat me. I know bobcats love to eat rabbits."
"But, I promise," said the bobcat, "that if you help me, I won't eat you and I will never eat any of your children again."
"Do you really mean it?"
"Cross my heart and hope to die," swore the bobcat.
"Okay," said Mr. Hare, "but remember, you promised." And he went over to lend him a hand. As soon as he tried to help him, the bobcat grabbed Mr. Hare and gobbled him up.
Moral: Desperate creatures are doubly dangerous!

Schindler Sez
Companies that don't make money...don't make it.

Freddy Optimism

I had breakfast this morning with an old high school buddy, Freddy Eyanson. He told me that he had leukemia, but said it wasn't the bad kind.
"Why," he went on, "Ill probably outlive it!"

Entitled

We all know folks who have a very high opinion of their opinion. Nevertheless, I'd like to point out that everyone is entitled to their opinion...no matter how erroneous!

The Want

The problem with too many low or no-income folks is they want things they aren't willing to work for!

Booze'n

If you can't stop after you start...it's time to quit before you begin!

The Battle

The arrogant corporate execs and the Wall Street traders are a classic case of a well-educated group with greed oozing from every pore. Apparently they've never learned that when there's a battle between greed and common sense, greed always wins by a knockout! If only they could understand that ultimately the greedy winners will, sooner or later become the greedy losers. Then maybe, just maybe, there would be less greed in the world. But don't count on it. Greedy SOBs abound!

Not Funny

Sometimes reading the news in the newspaper is such a downer, by time I get to the funnies, they aren't funny.

The Real Owner

If you want to find out who really owns your home,
don't pay your property taxes!

Happiness

Happiness has nothing to do with where you are physically,

but everything to do with where you are mentally!

Jeff

Jeff was diagnosed with throat cancer, and after extensive surgery and radiation, he was found
to be cancer free. On a followup visit a few months later, after a thorough examination, the good doctor exclaimed, "You're doing great! No sign of cancer. Are you still smoking?"
"Yeah, Jeff sheepishly answered."
"Cool," the doctor responded, "lets go into the garage and have one."

No Drive
Prior to World War II, it was fairly common in many small Midwestern towns that a lot of families didn't own cars and therefore many folks never learned to drive.
After World War II started, in the early 1940s, Sim Hain, a small town boy from Decatur, Indiana, found himself flying one of the huge, four-engine, B24 bombers on missions over the South Pacific. Sim flew 45 missions and had more than a thousand hours of flying time. Consequently, he was a well-seasoned combat pilot.
One particular morning Sim was supposed to pick up the commanding officer (CO) and drive him to his office. After checking out a staff car from the motor pool, Sim showed up at the CO's quarters with not only a car, but also a driver. When the CO asked him why he brought a driver along, Sim, a little red-faced from embarrassment, explained, "Sir, I never learned to drive!"

Over Three Thousand

At the edge of Fort Wayne, Indiana, on highway#33 and also on highway #14 (Illinois Road), for the past two years plus, they have been widening approximately a two mile stretch on each of those roads and they still aren't finished. That's less than an average of one mile of new finished highway per year, per road.
Now if the same bureaucrats and companies were to build a highway, at that pace, across the United States, which is roughly three thousand miles, it would take them, you guessed it, over three thousand years! I believe the ancient Romans could have done it faster by hand, using just donkeys and mules! But, obviously they wouldn't have put the asses in charge!