The Biggest Loser?

I just read Notre Dame paid their ex-football coach, Charlie Weis, one of the worst, if not the worst, coach in the history of their program, (35 losses~27wins), a termination fee of $6,638,403. Now tell me folks, who in the heck is the biggest loser, Charlie, or the person responsible for this fiasco? Even though his record speaks for itself, Charlie, who is obviously a loser, at least financially speaking, is a winner. Now, if the person responsible for this debacle would please step forward, we’d like to award you a big “L” to put on your forehead. You’ve earned it!

Schindler Sez

Folks, I have good news and bad news. Since the world didn’t end last Saturday, as some naysayer predicted, I guess you’re still stuck with me. Sorry about your luck.

No Ties

When my wife, Fry, and I go out to dinner, a party, or for any other auspicious occasion, I very seldom wear a tie. I usually wear an opened neck shirt or a turtle neck with a sport coat. Recently, as we were getting ready to attend a wedding, the wife said, “Aren’t you going to wear a tie?”
“No.”
“But everyone else will be wearing one,” she insisted.
“You’re probably right,” I replied, “but they’ll be jealous of tieless Jim.
At the outdoor reception, it was uncomfortably hot. When my wife, spotted a group of guys, dressed appropriately for the occasion in their suits and ties, and sweating profusely, she told them about our tieless conversation and how I said all the guys would be jealous.
They chuckled, and began to unloosen their ties, but still didn’t have the courage to take them off. One of them then said, “God, I wish I had the guts to do that.”
Moral: Sometimes it pays not to tie one on!

Schindler Sez

He who relies on luck to get ahead will be behind when his luck runs out.

The Haters

Ninety percent of all women haters…are women!

Afraid

There was a big bully from Feif,
Whose bullying was a source of much strife.
He feared not a man,
Including Uncle Sam,
His only fear was of his wife.

No More Tricks

At our recent class of 52’ get-to-gather, the table was quite crowded and cramped. So, as Carl was trying to get up and squeeze out, his chair fell over backwards.
“Are you going to do any more tricks?” Paul, who was sitting beside him, joked.
“No,” Carl replied. “The first one didn’t go over too good!”

Schindler Sez

Why can’t I remember what I forgot?