I’m Stick’n to it!

Did you know the Earth gets heavier every day due to falling space dust? That’s my excuse!

The Lousy Catch

In ancient Greece, tossing an apple to a girl was a traditional way to propose marriage. If she caught it, it meant she accepted. But if she dropped it, did it mean he was a lousy catch or she was?

The Wiper

I walked into my favorite Mexican restaurant and sat down at the bar. “Kim,” I yelled at the bartender, “throw me a towel. This table needs to be wiped off.”
"I’ll get it,” she said from behind the bar.
“Just throw me the towel. I’m a pretty good wiper, and I can prove it.
“You can?”
“Yeah, my briefs are spotless.”

Schindler Sez

Over time, truth triumphs!

Phew

Nothing irritates me more than someone driving in the passing lane holding up traffic and never passing anyone. I assume they’re either stupid, inconsiderate, texting or have their heads in a very dark place. Phew!

The Drunken Masseuse

If a masseuse had a drinking problem, would she be a masouse?
-Bob Cook

The Wet Bike

Three year-old Tami was riding her tricycle when daddy came out to bring her in for lunch. On lifting her off of the tricycle, he noticed the seat was wet. “What happened?” he asked.
Looking at daddy with those big, innocent, green eyes, she answered, “Bike went potty.”

Schindler Sez

What was so damn great about the Great Depression?