#208 Week of June 2, 3013

Schindler Sez

We are all entitled to our opinions…no matter how erroneous.

It’s Sore

            On visiting my doctor about a health issue I was having, he gave me a prescription for some pills. When I asked him what the side effects were, he told me they didn’t really have any, except that they might make me a little grouchy.

            A few days later I told my wife, Fry, “The only thing those darn pills are doing is making me grouchier than a bear with a sore butt...she agreed!

            I know what you’re thinking; do bears with sore butts really get grouchy?’ Yeah!  But only if they’re taking those damn pills!

Benghazi

            Benghazi, no problem; blame it on Bush. He got blamed for everything else and a lot of no knows believed every word!

The Last Step

            I don’t know if our school administrators realize this, but I think ISTEP has taken its last step!

#209 Week of June 9, 2013

Schindler Sez

Everyone loves a compliment…especially the ladies.

Dad

When I was a boy,

My dad was king,

He could do,

Almost anything.

Then in my teens,

It became otherwise.

I grew taller than him

And twice as wise.

But as I aged,

 Thru many a summer,

He either got smarter,

Or I got dumber.

The Monologues

            Recently, at the Arts United Center, here in Fort Wayne, “The Vagina Monologues,” were featured. Hell, I didn’t know they could talk!

#210 Week of June 16, 2013

Schindler Sez

Why do those who understand not what they say, say so much?

On a Roll

            Did you read about the team of students, at Purdue University, who won a $20,000 prize for creating a biodegradable fireworks casing out of corn that is lighter and less expensive than the products now on the market? Heck, on the farm, we had a unique use for corn cobs and never won a damn thing. Of course we saved a lot of money on toilet paper.

Arizona

June the 21^st was the,

First day of summer.

If I knew it’d be this hot,

I wouldn’t have come here.

The Dough

            The former Indiana Lake County Coroner, was convicted of taking more than $24,000 from the child support funds. His request to be released on bond was rejected by a federal judge. Could it be the judge is waiting for him to dig up the evidence?

#211 Week of June 23, 2013

Schindler Sez

Do polar bears really think they’re cool?

How Many Days

            I thought it was time someone put together an easy to understand rhyme, which tells how many days there are in each month. So I took the liberty of combining several old poems, which should make everyone an expert on the subject.

Thirty Days

Thirty Days Has September,

April, June, and November,

All the rest have thirty-one.

But from this we still must vary,

For twenty-eight has February.

Except for Leap Year…that’s the time,

When February has twenty-nine.

                                                            Jim Schindler

Listening

Listening is learning.

             

#212 Week of June 30, 2013

Schindler Sez

            If you’d buy only what you need and not what you want, you’d have a lot less needs.

The Truth

Some ladies think

I’m a chauvinist pig,

From the stories

That I write.

But to tell the truth,

I love the ladies,

Especially at night!

Jim Schindler

The Woeful Majority

            Many folks think that if the majority is for it, it’s right. Not because it’s best or correct, but because the majority is for it.  Let me tell you, the majority is seldom, if ever right. If you don’t believe me, think of all of the elected officials who were put into office by the majority. Not to mention the laws they passed.  All a majority means is that either by hook or by crook, they got the most votes. Enough said!

The Sag

            Recently, I read about a French professor, Denis Rouillon, from  the University of Besancon, who claimed  he has measured 320 women’s breasts with and without bras and concluded that over time, wearing a bra might make the breasts sag more than not wearing one. Obviously, this guy doesn’t understand the law of gravity. Or perhaps it has pulled his brain down to new lows. Then again, maybe he just wants to do some more measurements. What a guy!