March 27, 2010

Schindler Sez
A lot of women will do almost anything...except clean the house!

Can I Go?

A lady friend excitedly told me that she was going to New York City on a bus trip with a group of women this weekend.
"Are you going to the opera?" I asked.
"No."
"To a Broadway play?"
"No."
"Sightseeing?" "
"No, we're going shopping."
"Shopping? You mean you're going all the way to New York to go shopping?"
"Yeah, you can get Coach Purses really cheap there."
"What does the trip cost?"
"It cost 350 bucks. That's for the bus and hotel."
"Does that include meals?"
"No, we have to buy them."
"Let me get this straight," I said, somewhat puzzled. "You mean to tell me you're going to spend three days and 350 bucks plus, to save 30 bucks on a purse?" Sounds like a real deal to me. Can I go along?"

March 20, 2010

Schindler Sez

Too many people live lives of faded, unfulfilled dreams!

Twenty Minutes

A few days ago I stopped off at the pharmacy to get a prescription for an old friend. The paharmist took one look at it and said, "This'll take about 20 minutes."
"Twenty minutes? Doesn't that come pre-packaged?"
"Yesssss."
"Then just hand me the package, and I'll pay and be on my way."
"But I have other orders ahead of you."
"Other orders," I said, looking around. "There's no one else here!"
With a scowl on his face, the pharmacist took my prescription and disappeared behind the counter.
But I have to admit he was right. It took 20 minutes!

The Badge
A Rolex is a badge of insecurity.
Thomas K. (only) Hurst

March 13, 2010

Schindler Sez
Rich is when you don't have to work,
and still have enough money to live comfortably.

The Unfashionable Designers

Fashion is a matter of opinion, personal preference, and taste. Just because some New York, tinkle toed designer doesn't care for a particular type of clothing, doesn't mean it's not in good taste or stylish. Have you ever noticed how some of those fashion gurus look and dress? Enough said!

Not Anywhere

Louie was having dinner with his wife at their favorite restaurant, Bandido's, when she noticed that he had slopped salsa all over the front of his shirt.
"Look at you," she said disgustedly, "your shirt is a mess. It's embarrassing!"
"Sorry," he answered, "I guess i just cant take myself anywhere."

A Fairy Tale?

Is the global warming story just another fairy tale?

March 6, 2010

Schindler Sez

It's hard to have a sunny disposition on a rainy day.

If you think the poem on the following blog is too taxing, you ain't seen noth'n yet.

Death & Taxes
Tax his cow, tax his goat,
Tax his pants, tax his coat.
Tax his crops, tax his work,
Tas his ties, and tax his shirt.

Tax his tractor, tax his mule,
Teach him taxes are the rule.
Tax his oil, tax his gas,
Tax his income, tax his cash.

If he hollers, tax him more,
Tax him 'til he's good and sore.
Tax his coffin, tax his grave,
Tax the sod in which he lays.

Put these words upon his tomb,
Taxes drove him to his doom.
And when he's gone, he can't relax,
He still must pay inheritance tax!

Death & Taxes
Tax his cow, tax his goat,
Tax his pants, tax his coat.
Tax his crops, tax his work,
Tax his ties and tax his shirt.

Tax his tractor, tax his mule,
Teach him taxes are the rule.
Tax his oil, tax his gas,
Tax his income, tax his cash.

If he hollers, tax him more,
Tax him 'til he's good and sore.
Tax his coffin, tax his grave,
Tax the sod in which he lays.

Put these words upon his toomb,
Taxes drove him his doom.
And when he's gone, he can't relax,
He still must pay inheritance tax!
Anonymous

February 27, 2010

Schindler Sez
When you stop getting old...you're dead.

Even Congress doesn't want it!

If we can't have the same health-care plan that Congress has, then they should be covered by the same program they're trying to shove down our throats. If it's good enough for us, it should be good enough for them. But, you can bet your sweet derriere Congress won't agree, because theirs is a hundred times better!

The Good Framer

Recently, I bought a painting and as I was paying for it, the clerk asked if I would like it framed.
"Who's going to frame it? I asked.
"I am," she replied.
"Are you any good?"
"I'm fabulous," she answered. "There is only one person better than me, and he taught me how, but he's retired now."
"Well," I quipped, "If you're that good, you must be frameous!"