Schindler Sez
Beauty is what you're used to.

They Don't Care

Today, at least in this area, people don't die, they pass. At first, I didn't like that phrase. I thought, why doesn't one just say they died? Because that's what they did. But after mulling it over, I changed my mind. After all, isn't death a time when one passes from this life into the next? Still, no matter what we call the last trip...I'm sure it makes no difference to the dearly departed.

A Grocery Line Limerick

These days, it often takes longer to pay for your food at the grocery than it does to cook it.

At the grocery I found instantly,
Bacon, fresh eggs, and green tea.
But to my dismay,
When I went to pay,
Last place in the slow line was me.

Two Terms

After discussing politics with my friend, Dan, he summed it all up when he forcefully said, "I think all politicians ought to be limited to two four-year terms."
"You do?"
"Yeah, four years in office and four years in jail!"

Schindler Sez

It is almost impossible to be good at something you don't like to do.

A Hard Left

Why is it that many people who demand their constitutional right of free speech are outraged when others exercise theirs and express the opposite view? Perhaps these hypocrites should be given, in addition to their rights, a hard left.

An Eye Opener

We close our eyes when we sneeze.

It's Everywhere

Incompetence stalks the land!

Schindler Sez
What this country needs is an honest politician.

Judge Hunter's New Pants

In the 1940's, Floyd Hunter, the local judge in the small town of Decatur, Indiana, had a side business repairing wooden bowling pins for the surrounding bowling alleys. One day, quite unexpectedly, he was called into court. Not taking time to change his clothes, he showed up in pants all covered with paint splotches and dirt. After a quick hearing, "His Honor" found the perpetrator guilty and fined him ten dollars. On paying the fine, the lawbreaker handed the judge and extra five bucks along with these words, "Here...get yourself some new pants."

The Nuts

In the last presidential election, ACORN, a liberal community activist group, registered 1.3 million new voters, of which almost a third were rejected, in too many cases because they were fraudulent. Obviously, this was very embarrassing to the Obama campaign. In addition, ACORN's workers were caught on tape, giving advice on how to get a government loan to run a house of ill repute, using underage prostitutes, from El Salvador.
Now ACORN is trying to blame Fox News, the right wing, and anyone else that doesn't agree with or support them for their wrong doings. Quite frankly, until I first heard of ACORN, a year or so ago, I always assumed that acorns were nuts. However, it's nice to know that I'm still right...on both accounts!

Schindler Sez

Blowhards catch foot-in -mouth disease.

The Shove

I can't understand what all the fuss was about when Serena Williams, after being called for a foot fault in the U.S. Open tennis finals, threatened to shove the ball down the line judge's (expletive deleted) throat. After all, most people in the same situation would have threatened to shove it somewhere else!

A Nickel's Worth

In the 1940's, when I was about five or six years old, my sister Mousie, being a nice person and loving her baby brother, wanted to trade me a dime for a nickel. She kept trying to convince me that the dime was worth more, but I still wouldn't trade with her. After all, in my young mind, I thought that if the nickel was bigger, it must be worth more. Even now, in my middle 70's, it still mystifies me why anyone would make the bigger coin worth less.

Schindler Sez

One can accomplish the impossible, but only if one doesn't know it's impossible.

Words of Wisdom

When my son John was growing up, he was real quiet. One day, he must have been around nine years old, we were driving over to my brother Chico's house. After about 10 minutes of silence I asked, "John, why don't you ever say anything?"
He looked at me, paused, and then said, "I will when I have something to say."

Ted Terrific

Ted Balestreri, the famous restaurateur, once said, "I was a very wealthy kid. My father left me in America, and he left me character. I figure that's about as rich as you want to get." In addition, he said that his father left him with the whole world to make a living in, "so I wasn't encumbered."
With an attitude like that, it's not surprising that Ted is not only a successful businessman, but also, more importantly, a successful human being.
God bless Ted, and God Bless America.

Schindler Sez

Only the government would be dumb enough to pay $4,500 for a car that's only worth a hundred bucks.

The Wrath of Grapes

In the early 1930s, young Sim miraculously found himself in the middle of a neighbor's grape arbor. While was stuffing his face with the fruit of the vine, the unhappy owner spotted him and rang up his father.
Finally, with a belly full of grapes, Sim headed home, As soon as he walked in the back door, his dad, in a stern voice asked, "Where were you?" He no sooner got the words out of his mouth when Sim threw up what seemed like a half of vineyard. More grapes than either one of them ever wanted to see.
"Well, I guess you suffered enough," his dad said with a twinkle in his eye, knowing full well that his son had learned a grapeful lesson.

The Forgetter

When Joey read, 'What did I forget?' on a Post-it-Note, he scratched his head and mumbled to himself, "Hell, I don't know...I forgot."