Adam blamed Eve…

Adam blamed Eve…Eve blamed the snake, and the snake didn’t have a leg to stand on.
A church sign.

Monkeying Around

Arthur was having dinner with his twenty-three-year-old daughter, when the subject of AIDS came up.
“Where did AIDS come from?” she asked dad.
“I heard it come from monkeys.” he answered.
“But, how did the monkeys get it?”
“Probably from monkeying around!”

Bernie Madoff

Bernie Madoff, the financial guru who bilked his friends and clients out of billions of dollars, is now in the slammer for life because he madoff with their money.

Schindler Sez

(When Evan Bayh lost his senatorial race I couldn’t help myself)
Bye Bayh

The Ringer

My wife and I stopped in at Deer Park, Tony Henry’s cozy pub for a beer. After a raucous welcome, he introduced us to the other patrons sitting at the table. “This is Jimmie Schindler and his wife, Fry. “Jimmie, rings the bells at St. Peter’s before mass. Nobody can ring it like him. He’s a real ringer.”
“Tony,” I said, “I don’t care what you call me, as long as it’s not a “dead ringer.”

Lying Eyes

Sometimes, when I go into one of my Bandido’s Mexican Restaurants and see something that isn’t the way it’s supposed to be and the manager or employee says, “I don’t know what happened;  it’s never like that,” I tell them this story.

There was once a man making love to his girlfriend when his wife walked in. As soon as he saw her, he jumped out of bed, ran up to her and said, “Honey, are you going to believe me or your lying eyes?”

Schindler Sez

Do you think a little oinkment would help those who have swine flu?
(Sorry folks, I just couldn’t help myself).