The Quiet Woman

Charlie’s mother died, and true to her wishes, he had her cremated. It was a beautiful Indiana summer day when he got a call from the mortuary that his mother’s ashes were ready to be picked up. So he stopped, claimed the urn with her remains and headed to the lake to spend the day.

About halfway there, Charlie looked over at his mother sitting on the front seat and said, “Mom, this is the first time that you ever rode to the lake with me without bitching about my driving.”

Legal

Sixty-three-year old Terry was starting to show his age. He had prostate cancer, the beginning of Parkinson’s disease, and several other maladies. “The problem with getting older,” he told my wife, Fry, “is that I have the whole counter full of drugs…and they’re all legal!”

Schindler Sez

A wise man keeps his wife happy!

Jeff

Jeff was diagnosed with throat cancer, and after extensive surgery and radiation, he was found to be cancer free. On a follow up visit a few months later, after a thorough examination, the good doctor exclaimed, “You’re doing great! No sign of cancer. Are you still smoking?”

“Yeah,” Jeff sheepishly answered.

“Cool,” the doctor responded, “let’s go into the garage and have one.”

Happiness

Happiness has nothing to do with where you are physically, but everything to do with where you are mentally!

No Drive

Prior to World War II, it was fairly common in many small Midwestern towns that a lot of families didn’t own cars and therefore, many folks never learned to drive.

After World War II started, in the early 1940s, Sim Hain, a small town boy from Decatur, Indiana, found himself flying one of the huge, four-engine B24 bombers on missions over theSouth Pacific. Sim flew forty-five missions and had more than a thousand hours of flying time. Consequently, he was a well-seasoned combat pilot.

One particular morning Sim was supposed to pick up the commanding officer (CO) and drive him to his office. After checking out a staff car from the motor pool, Sim showed up at the CO’s quarters with not only a car, but also a driver. When the CO asked him why he brought a driver along, Sim, a little red faced from embarrassment, explained, “Sir, I never learned to drive!”

Schindler Sez

If you want to find out who owns your home…don’t pay your property taxes!

Schindler Sez

If your dog ran away would he be dog-gone?