Saturday, April 23, 2011

Schindler Sez
If I learned from all my mistakes ... I'd be pretty damn smart!

The Bread Man

It always amazes me when I hear folks raving about how much money they saved by buying this or that on sale. Excuse me, but when people spend their hard-earned money, how in the world do they figure they saved it? Does it really matter if they bought the items on sale or paid full price? Isn't the result the same? Meaning, now they have less money than they had to begin with.
If I had a $100 and saved some more money, wouldn't I now have more than a hundred? Conversely, if I spend some of that money, no matter how good the deal, wouldn't I now have less? Logic would tell any rational person that spending money is not exactly the same as saving it. Hence, a sale is just a means for merchants to sell the gullible a bill of goods, while lightening their purses and convincing them that they actually saved money. If only I could get my wife to understand this, I'd save so much dough they'd call me the bread man!

No Rest

Usually, when I stop at a rest area ... I'm not tired.

April 16, 2011

Schindler Sez

Life is a little bit like the birth of a baby giraffe. If you don't stick your neck out, you're not going anywhere!

Gina

After talking to Gina our waitress at the Athenian restaurant, who has sort of an olive-colored skin, I asked, "Gina, are you Italian?"
"No, I'm three-quarters Indian."
"Indian? Like American Indian?"
"Yeah."
"Do they still wear loin cloths?" I jokingly asked.
"Sure, they have nothing to hide."

Twits
Are those who tweet on twitter ... twits?

Charlie's "Sheen" II

Charlie seems to have lost his sheen,
He's acting strange and a little mean.
But he doesn't care if he's the oddest,
He's got his millions and a sexy Goddess.

April 9, 2011

Schindler Sez
A wound from a cutting remark ... never heals.

Rough Sailing

(The names have been changed to protect my derriere)

Since Matt and Lisa both work, they share the household duties. Yesterday, as Matt was finishing the laundry and was folding a pair of Lisa's panties, she walked into the kitchen.
"Look at these," Matt said, holding her panties up, "these suckers could sail a ship."
Needless to say, it has been rough sailing at Matt's house and the storm still hasn't passed.

iPads
Are iPads sanitary?

No Drive

We should be careful about taking driving privileges away from the elderly. After all, do we want to lose our drive when we're old?

Words of Wisdom

Be tough minded...but tender hearted.

April 9, 2011

Schindler Sez
A wound from a cutting remark...never heals.

Rough Sailing

(The names have been changed to protect my derriere)

Since Matt and Lisa both work, they share the household duties. Yesterday, as Matt was finishing the laundry and was folding a pair of Lisa's panties, she walked into the kitchen. "Look at these," Matt said, holding her panties up. "these suckers could sail a ship."
Needless to say, it has been rough sailing at Matt's house for many a day.

iPads
Are iPads sanitary?

No Drive

We should be careful about taking driving privileges away from the elderly. After all, do we want to lose our drive when we're old?

Words of Wisdom
Be tough minded...but tender hearted.

April 2, 2011

Schindler Sez
Even a fish wouldn't get caught if he kept his damn mouth shut!!

A Huge Celebration

If April Fool's Day was really for fools, one hell of a lot of people would be celebrating. Would you?

Mommy!

Whenever I'm following a huge four-wheel-dive SUV, inevitably, as it approaches a railroad crossing, the driver slows down to a crawl while cars, big and little, buzz right over the tracks. Recently, during a snow storm, traffic ahead of me was going at a snail's pace. Every now and again I could see a car buzz around whoever was holding traffic up. When I finally got close enough to see who the culprit was, believe it or not, it was a four-wheel-drive SUV. This got me to wondering, what would those macho mothers do if they really had to drive on rough terrain. Why, they'd probably call their mommies!

Charlie's "Sheen"
Charlie's sheen is not too bright,
It lost its glow that booze filled night.
But it put a smile upon his face
That you just can't get most any place.

March 26, 2011

Schindler Sez

Money can't buy happiness and happiness can't money. But, wouldn't we all be happier if we had a little more money?

Arthuritis

As you age, and the doctor can't seem to figure out what's wrong with you...that old rascal Arthuritis always gets the blame.

Light's On

This past week, we went to a wedding in Montgomery, Alabama, and stayed in a nice hotel. Our total bill for three days, not including meals, was $441.05.
As we drove past a nearby Motel 6 on the way home, I noticed they had a sign that read, "Rooms, $39,99." That got me thinking, "Gee, if we stayed at the Motel 6, our bill with tax, would have been a little over forty-five bucks a night, for a grand total of $135. This meant that I would still have $286.05 in my pocket. Besides that, they would have left the light on for me!

Up?

If you put a drain in upside down, will it drain up?