February 26, 2011

Schindler Sez

Strive to rise above average. For if you're average, you're just another face in the crowd.

Pat me down!

Why are so many people upset about the increased security at our airports? If they had full body scanners and more intense pat downs in 2001, 9/11 would probably never have happened and 2996 people would still be living. Either we implement those stronger security measures, or we risk a repeat of the 9/11 incident. So what shall it be? Body scans and pat downs, or suicide bombers ad blow ups? The choice is obvious!

FYI: There were more people killed in the 9/11 attacks (2996), than were killed in the attack on Pearl Harbor (2350), which caused the United States to declare war on Japan (December 7, 1941).

The "F" Word

In William's pre-kindergarten class, the letter for the week was "F". When the teacher asked William to give her a word that started win an "F", he said "flatulate."
"William," the teacher said, somewhat taken aback, "do you know what that word means?"
"Yeah, my grandpa Steve, said it's the scientific word for "Toot."
Aren't grandpas smart?

February 19, 2011

Schindler Sez
When women's lib come in the door, chivalry flew out the window.

Confused by the Facts

I asked a radical environmentalist, aka tree hugger, "If there really is global warming, how do you explain the extremely cold winter we're now having?"
"Oh, that's part of the global warming process," she replied.
"Now let me get this straight, you maintain extreme cold is part of global warming, right?"
"Yes, that's right."
"Gee, I'm soooo dumb. I thought hot weather caused global warming and cold weather caused global cooling. But I guess I'm confused by the facts."

I'll Take Heads

God gave us tow ends, one to sit on and the other to think with. Your success depends on which one you use the most. Heads you win, tails you lose.
Anonymous

Be Cyber

I knew a lady who worked on a computer all day long and I must say, "She was a calculating wench." That's why I never sat be cyber.

February 12, 2011

Schindler Sez
The more you love...the better you'll feel.

Love is Wonderful

Love is a wonderful thing, the more you give, the more you get. And no matter how much love you give, you'll never run out!

The Result
St. Valentine's Day is for lovers,
That's what the poets say,
But the result of their love'n
Is just nine months away.

She could use it!

When Brian walked into the house, his wife met him with, "You forgot today was Valentine's Day again, didn't you?"
"No," Brian lied, "I was going to get you a box of candy, but I figured you were sweet enough."
After her tirade, Brian thought, she's not really that sweet, I should have gotten that box of candy!"

Happy Birthday, Abe...wish you were here!

February 5, 2011

Schindler Sez

If you surround yourself with dumb asses, sooner or later you'll fit right in.

God Bless America

If our founding fathers didn't want prayers in the courthouse, the schoolhouse, or any other public place ... wouldn't they have banned them back then?
Personally, I don't give a damn what anyone else says, to me it's still one nation, under God, with liberty and justice for all. And I'll pray any damn place I please. God bless America!

Opinions

"Most opinions are worth about what you ay for them ... or less.

The Beautiful Snow
I like snow. Why? Because it's tough sledding without it!

WikiLeaks

Anyone who leaks as much as Wiki ... must have the peezles.