September 25, 2010

Schindler Sez
A gloomy day dampens the spirit.

The Miracle

This past Sunday at St. Peter's, attendance was rather sparse when Mass began. A minute or two later, my son, Jimmie, and his wife, Katie, came in and sat next to me. Whispering into Jimmie's ear, I said, "I just prayed to God to send over some more sinners because there's plenty of room, and in you walked"!

Entitlement

The only thing anyone is entitled to...is what they work for.

Pherd

Pherd, an elderly gentleman, was having a little difficulty walking. This Sunday he came to church using a cane.
"Pherd," I asked, "Does that cane make you able?"

September 18, 2010

Schindler Sez

If courtesy is contagious...a lot of people still haven't caught it!

Harry and the Manure

At least 50 years ago, someone told me the following story about President Harry (give em hell) Truman. I really don't know if it's true or not, but it's a damn good story. During a speech to a bunch of farmers, President Truman encouraged them to use plenty of manure to insure a good harvest. After using the term manure several times, the lady sitting next to his wife Bess, whispered in her ear. "Can't you get him to say fertilizer instead of manure?"
"Goodness gracious," Bess replied, "If you only knew how long it took me to get him to say manure."

The Fortunates

Fortunate is the man who makes more money than his wife can spend. Extremely fortunate is the woman who marries such a man.

September 11, 2010

Schindler Sez

Generally speaking, we don't hear the things we don't to hear.

The Fuzz

My old buddy, Joe Jauregui, and I went into the West End restaurant for lunch. When our waitress brought us our drinks, it looked like she was trying to pick something off the table.
"What are you doing,?" I asked.
"Oh, I'm just trying to pick some fuzz off the table."
"Good," I replied. "I hate fuzz...especially when it's in my navel."

Another Wives Tale

I's practically impossible to snore with your mouth closed. Could that be the reason so many wives tell their husbands to keep their mouths shut?

Wise Words
In the race for quality there is no finish line.
Greek Proverb

September 4, 2010

Schindler Sez

Thank God for computers. For without them, who would we blame our screw-ups on?

Close To

Whenever someone ask Lary for directions, he replies, "Don't give me the address. Just tell me what tavern or liquor store it's close to and I'll get you there."

The Investor's Creed

When the stock market's up, he's a genius.
When the market's down, his broker's an idiot.

Ta-Ta's

There is a T-shirt business called Save The Ta-Ta's. I assume the owners thought the name, Ta-Ta's, would be titillating enough to get everyone's attention...especially the men's.