December 19, 2009

Schindler Sez

A lot of people talk a good game, but only a few play one!

Santa Comes Tonight

On the way home from our family's Christmas Eve party at our son John's house, with our younger children--Jimmie 22, Heidi 21, and Rachel, 19--I asked them if they wanted to open their gifts that night or the next morning (Christmas). Jimmie and Rachel wanted to open their gifts that night, but Heidi wanted to wait until Christmas morning.
"Heidi," I asked, "why do you want to wait until tomorrow?"
"Because," she innocently answered, "Santa doesn't come until tonight!"

Mistakes

There are two kinds of people who never make mistakes. The first kind never does anything, and the second kind is dead! Anyone who does anything at all will make them. So I never worry about making a mistake. But as soon as I realize that I did, I try to correct it as quickly as possible.

Fluzies

Did you know pigs have their own flu viruses? Now those damn swine are trying t give them to us. Fluzies!

December 12, 2009

Schindler Sez

Eat less...live longer.

Listen Listen Listen

It pays to listen to everyone, for everyone, in some way, is mentally your superior. There is not a person on earth who doesn't know more about something than you do. So if you listen carefully to each person whom you meet, you might be surprised what you can learn.

The Face on the Bar Room Bore

In 1966, I was 32 years old, and for the first time in my life I grew a beard. I kept it well trimmed and, frankly, I thought that I looked quite handsome. One day, as my wife and I were having dinner and a few drinks at Tony's Tap, a Decatur watering hole, some friends of ours, Tom and Peg Sefton, joined us. After the usual exchange of pleasantries, Peg looked at me and said, "I really like your beard."
"You do?" I replied, hoping to hear more.
"Yes," she continued, "It hides so much of your face!"

December 5, 2009

Schindler Sez

If someone else pays for your mistakes, you're not going t learn much.

A Funny Picture

A few days after my first column, Schindler Sez, appeared in my hometown paper, the Decatur Daily Democrat, I rang up my old Decatur buddy, Joe Jauregui and his wife Maxine answered the phone. "Maxine, did you read my column?" I asked.
"Yeah, I read it," she replied.
"Did you like it?"
"Yeah...I laughed as soon as I saw your picture."

Tall Hog

No matter how big or small you are, if you're the only hog at the trough, you're tall hog.

Wives Rule

If it's true that in the Bible it says, "Wives should be subordinate to their husbands in all things," then why is it generally the other way around?